Question: There is a problem that has troubled me for a long time, which is emotional intelligence. I always feel that my emotional intelligence is too low, which makes my girlfriend dissatisfied with me sometimes. Moreover, she has been very cold to me recently. Her answer to me was: I am not in love, and I don’t need to be tired of it every day. I can’t understand it, and I don’t even know if she still likes me. Wondering how to improve your emotional intelligence? Will she stop being cold to me after improving her emotional intelligence?
How do boys improve their emotional intelligence in love
Answer: If there are problems in love, the problem may not be emotional intelligence. The problem of high and low is a problem of unequal relationship. The dominant party will behave in a domineering, indifferent, strong, or even dictatorial manner, while the disadvantaged party will often feel aggrieved, neglected, and painful.
When conflicts and disagreements arise between lovers, the stronger party often habitually solves the problem by inaction or squeezing the other party, while the weaker party can only passively accept the strong party's advice. Rules, no way to fight back.
There is a saying that the favored person is emboldened. This is the truth. The reason why the favored party is emboldened is because she smells that the other party is easy to bully, that is, no matter how lazy or unreasonable I am, She won't leave me no matter what, and she is afraid of losing me, so she will use her behavior to tell the other person that if you want to stay in this relationship, you must adapt to my rules.
As for emotional intelligence in love, it can only solve some minor problems at the level of relationship equality. Under the premise of unequal relationship, any emotional intelligence and words are in vain, and they are all empty talk. When one party presents a dimensionality reduction attack on another, there is a high probability that your speech will be swallowed up, ignored, and ignored. Grief is the norm. Your care will be regarded as interruption, and your efforts will be regarded as pressure.
Therefore, when your top priority is not how to improve your emotional intelligence, but to slowly get rid of your infatuation and dependence on her. Detach and eliminate the imbalance in your relationship. Enrich your options, reduce the proportion of this person and this relationship in your life, go get together with friends, learn a skill, go to the gym, start a side job, become more beautiful, and enrich yourself to make yourself happy. The possibility makes her one of the options, but it is definitely not a must.
First let her feel your detachment and the kind of fear of loss, and gradually adjust your relationship from imbalance to a balanced state. She does not need to make demands on you because she feels that powerful feeling. Change due to gap.
You have to remember a saying, there is a saying that people speak lightly, you have a low status in her heart, and your words will naturally not be taken seriously. When your value to her increases, you Even if she farts, she will shake three times.
